What is the point of coaching?

Coaching seems to be everywhere these days and yet I find that it is widely misunderstood. 

It’s hardly surprising given that this fast-growing industry is still relatively young and is self-regulated – which means it is not obligatory that everyone adhere to – or even acknowledge - the same set of principles and standards.

And there are standards - not a dusty old list of do’s and don’ts, but a living, breathing framework for the most unique and transformational conversations we might ever have in our lives. Yes, a bold statement. And this is where I do start passionately waving my arms about, because with conflicting narratives around, there is a chance you might be missing out on what is available to you.

So, let’s distinguish coaching from other valuable support structures such as consulting, therapy, training or mentorship, not because it is wholesale better – but because it is different, and when it comes time to move the needle, you want to have enough information to choose the right tool for the job.

I’ll start by answering a very good question that I was asked, recently; ‘what qualifies you to coach people on their lives?’.

As we talked, I could hear in this question the idea that coaching involves advice, transferring knowledge, telling you what to do - something that would certainly demand specialist expertise and is more the realm of consultants, trainers and mentors - people who may have walked the path you want to walk and can teach you or deliver for you what has worked for them. I honestly don’t know where I could get qualified to tell any one of the 8 billion people who might show up in my zoom room what to do with their lives – and to try and do that would completely miss the power and point of coaching, as the industry has come to define it.

Many coaching conversations begin with a perceived ‘problem’; a challenging boss or teammate, a pile of debt, the end of a relationship, feeling like an imposter in a new role, for example. At this point, if I tell you how I think you should solve this ‘problem’, delivering a strategy or formula based on my experience, my expertise and my world views, while you might get great results, we’re potentially missing a giant opportunity, because few problems or unwanted experiences exist in a silo - they are often a product of your unique network of thoughts, experiences, world views and resulting behaviours.

This network is rich terrain for a coaching conversation – and where a coach does bring expertise.

Our specialism is in holding a space that is free of our own agenda (what goes into holding that space is for another post), guiding you to excavate, explore and activate your own, because it is generally full of genius and gold.

A good coach will hold you as whole, capable and resourceful – already in possession of the answers - and will levitate with you so that you can actually see them, by looking at this situation from new angles, outside the noise and thought-fog of humanity.  Where does it sit in the wider landscape of your life? What thoughts might be driving or creating it? What possibility lies beyond it? (The coach doesn’t hold the answers to these sorts of questions, unless they are a mind-reader!). From here you will be supported to leverage the insights you unearth to move you towards your goals and the life you really, truly want to live.

What most people tend not expect from coaching is to be so fully strapped into the driving seat. But looking at your world in this elevated and intentional way can be surprising, thrilling, freeing and empowering – an act of creation and very often, a new experience of yourself as a driver.

I speak from experience.

Coaching has and continues to transform the way I hold myself as a friend, partner, family member, leader, coach, human being. I am solving problems, creating new things and designing my life in my own way. It’s the difference between colouring in the lines someone else has drawn and becoming the artist – both can lead to something beautiful but the difference between the two experiences is night and day.